The Difference Is Made
by The Author Behind The Door
Summary: What happens if a new character is introduced to our favorite group of survivors? What will change or who will change? Who will be attracted to her? Sydney also has to take care of her three year old brother to top it all off. How will she fair amidst all the dead walking about? Rated M for language and content further in the story.
1. The Difference is Made

Want to start off by saying this is my second Fic. I haven't finished my first because the character I was writing has decided to ditch me for a while. I just can't seem to write anything good for it. I graduated undergrad in May so I have had more free time. Not much until recently because just last month I got a full time job and now feel like I can relax with a stable pay check. Anyway. Disclaimer. I DO NOT own The Walking Dead or any of the characters in this story except the few I have made up. Those who watch the show will know who they are. I wanted to write this becuase it's been in my head for a while and I just felt the need. Please enjoy. I like any kind of feedback so please leave a review so I know if you like it or not! Thanks for reading!

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I dropped the fucking pin for the third time and kicked the door in frustration. Picking locks was harder than I thought it would be. Way harder than T.V. made it look. To the left of me my three-year-old brother, Mason, was sitting with his back to the house. He stood up when I kicked the door and came to stand next to me.

"It's okay Buddy, I'm just trying to get us in," I said patting his little head. I reached down and picked up the pin to try one more time, if this didn't work I was going to be pissed. We were nearly out of food and I wasn't sure what else to do at this point. I had been crouching here for the last half hour trying to get into this God forsaken house. I twisted the pin a little and it broke off inside the lock.

"All about the tumblers my ass," I yelled standing and kicking the door again. Mason grabbed the leg I hadn't kicked the door with and started to cry. The door groaned in protest at my show of anger. Maybe it was old enough to kick in. I reached down and picked Mason up before taking a few steps away from the house.

"I know you're scared, Mason, but I promise I'll make it okay. I just need to get into the house. It'll get a little loud. Cover your ears and look out towards the barn okay."

I put him down on the first step off the pouch and helped him cover his ears. I felt so bad for the little guy. He still didn't understand what was going on, and there was no way for me to explain it to him so he'd understand. All he knew was our parents and siblings were gone, we were no longer able to go home, and all he had was me. His twenty-two-year-old sister who had barely any idea how to take care of children, let alone in an apocalypse.

I turned back to the house, took a deep breath, then took two quick steps forward before kicking the door with all my might right under the handle. It didn't even budge, but now my leg was throbbing. I fell down on my knees and pressed my forehead against the wood.

"All I want is some food," I said desperately. "Why can't you just let me in. There isn't anyone home anyway."

"Sydney," Mason whimpered behind me. I sighed and stood up. He was still facing away from me; he was such a good boy. I picked him up again and looked around the front yard of this house. The barn was the only thing that looked promising, well that and the truck, but the truck had no key in it and I didn't know how to wire a car.

I reached down and threw my overweight backpack on the shoulder Mason wasn't currently using as a pillow and started towards the barn. Maybe I could find something to break into the house with, or maybe just find something useful at all. As I neared the barn door a brown horse came running up to the fence and swung its head at me.

Mason stiffened up, but I reached my free hand out to run my fingers along the horse's nose. I bounced my shoulder so Mason would look up and began to speak soothingly.

"Hello, there beautiful. Do you want to be our ride out of here? It's hard work, but I'll find you some fresh grass, and I would treat you well."

The horse threw its head up again and trotted away. Well I was going to take that as a yes. I walked into the barn and took a look around. There was a bunch of hay on the second floor, but I couldn't really see anything super useful on the first. They didn't even have a pitchfork that wasn't broken. I sighed and set Mason down on the ground, he clung to my pant leg, but didn't say anything against me putting him down. I put my backpack in the barn doorway and walked forward to collect the horse's riding gear. I placed everything at the barn door and grabbed a broken pitchfork. Maybe breaking a window and climbing into the house was my best option. I couldn't leave without getting food because Mason and I were not going to make it to Atlanta without it.

"Hello," I spun around to see a man- a sheriff- drop a couple of duffle bags in the dirt driveway. "Police officer out here. Can I borrow some gas," he began walking up to the house. "Hello?"I grabbed Mason and watched the 'police officer.' I was unsure if I could trust him. What if he wasn't a police officer at all, but a bandit? He knocked on the door. "Hello? Anybody home?" He walked the porch and looked into some of the windows. I watched him leave the porch and sit on a bench not to far from the barn. He approached the truck and looked around inside before closing the door. The horse made a noise and he started toward the coral. Now or never.

"You see the lady in the room?" I asked stepping out of the barn with Mason.

The officer turned to me with his hand on his holstered gun. I meet his gaze and waited patiently. He was the first person I had seen alive in a few weeks other than my brother, and I didn't expect it to be much different for him. He looked me up and down before looking back at the house.

"Yea, I saw her." He turned back to me and removed his hat. "Why you hiding in the barn?"

"Watching you. Can't be too careful nowadays." Mason grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"I would agree with that. He your son?"

"My baby brother."

"My name is Rick Grimes. I am a police officer, and I am heading to Atlanta."

"I am Sydney Tremont. This is Mason. We were heading that way too, but we ran out of food. I was hoping to find some in this farm house." He nodded and turned back to the house.

"That is a good idea, but I have some food. You could travel with me."

I took a couple steps forward and checked out the bags he dropped.

"Lot of guns you got there."

"Police department had a lot. I could share with you if you come with me."

"Why are you being so nice. What with all this crazy right now?"

"Just because the world is in shambles doesn't mean my manners need to be."

"Okay Rick Grimes. We will travel with you, but you gotta keep your manner up." He smiled before nodding. "Now how bout you break us into the house."

I collected as much of the nonperishable food as I could in my already stuffed bag before meeting Rick back at the horse coral.

"I couldn't find the truck keys. And I didn't want to check the room with her in it, so the horse is our only transport." I said.

"Not a problem." Rick grabbed the rope and opened the pen. I watched with a small smile on my face as he spoke to the horse. "Easy now. Easy. I'm not gonna hurt you. Nothing like that. More like a proposal. Atlanta's just down the road a ways. It's safe there- food, shelter, people. Other horses too, I bet." I laughed and reached down to pick up Mason. This guy was funny. I think traveling with him will be fun. "How's that sound?" He put the rope around the horse's neck. "There we go. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy." Rick fiddled with the rope. "Now come with me. Come on." He started walking backwards with the horse in tow. "Come on. Come on. Come on. Good boy."

I helped saddle the horse and Rick helped me up before handing all the bags and Mason to me. "You think we will be too heavy for him altogether?" Rick asked.

"No, he is a workin' horse. This may be the easiest job he has had." Rick frowned a little before climbing up to sit in front of me.

"Alright I haven't done this in a while."

"Maybe I should drive?"

"No, no. I got it." He said. He leaned a bit forward. "Just go easy, okay? I haven't done this for _years._ " He adjusted himself, and it was like a kick start for the horse. He started moving faster, and I barely caught Mason and myself from falling off by throwing my left arm around Rick.

"Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa!" The horse started galloping. I laughed. Ricked was all stiff and leaning back. He had no idea what he was doing. I mean I didn't have much more of a clue, but still. "Easy now." The horse continued on. "Easy, boy. Easy. Easy."

"I don't think he's been out for a while. He is probably hyped up." I said.

"Easy. Easy. Eas- Whoa whoa whoa whoa." Rick pulled back on the reins. "He sure is. Whoa. WHOA."

As we rode Rick and I spoke about before and what we were hoping to ride into. He told me his wife and son were missing and he wanted to find them. He told me about being shot before all this and waking up in the hospital. About Morgan and his son. I couldn't believe he hadn't a clue what was going on. I felt so bad for him. Having woken up into the shit hole the world had become. Mason fell asleep on the way and I was happy he was in my lap facing me so I could squish him a little between my body and Rick's to make sure he didn't fall off and so I could hold onto Rick.

Once I was sure Mason was asleep I spoke more freely. My family and I had been on a trip to North Carolina when it all went to shit. I didn't like to mention my family when Mason was awake because he would cry for our mother. I told Rick that our car had been pulled over a military blockade and my family separated. My parents were sent in once direction and my three siblings and I in another. When the base had been overrun I found my two other younger siblings to late they have been bitten. We found our parents and fled, but my siblings got worse we stopped and, well that was that. My parents were with us long enough to learn about Atlanta, but we were jumped by a few of the dead and they bit my mother's neck. My father got bit trying to save her. Once the dust had settled and the dead were actually dead. I took care of my mom, and my dad asked me to go on with Mason. Keep him safe. I couldn't leave him, so I made sure he wouldn't turn before I continued on my way. The more I spoke about it the heavier my chest got and when I finished telling the story to Rick tears were running down my face.

"I'm real sorry for what you had to go through." Rick said softly.

I wiped my face and ran my right hand through Mason's hair. "Not much to be done. In this world no one is untouched by pain."

We finished our trip in silence. As we approached Atlanta the outgoing traffic lanes were packed full of run down cars. I got a sick feeling in my stomach. This didn't look very good. Rick slowed the horse down a bit more and we continued. The only thing I could hear was the clip clop of the horse shoes on the pavement. Traveling in the city was no different. There was no sign of any life or dead for that matter. I got a worse feeling the longer we were in the city.

Rick slowed the horse at an intersection. "Which way do you think?"

"I don't know." I looked around. It was like a ghost town. "Let's try right, but I have a bad feeling."

"I know, me too."

We came up on some burnt cars and a downed helicopter at a blockade. I felt even more uneasy. There were some military cars and a burnt up bus. We passed the bus and some dead moved around inside. The horse got spooked. I tightened my grip on Rick and Mason. Mason woke up with a small whine.

"Whoa." Rick said. "Steady. There's just a few nothing we can't outrun."

"I know, but I am nervous. There are probably more around." Mason turned his head around and looked up at me. "Sydney I gotta potty."

I sighed. "It's okay buddy. You have a pullup on we will change it when we are safe."

The horse picked up speed in fear. "Okay. Whoa whoa whoa." Rick pulled on the reins again. We turned right once more, and I watched the dead behind us. We passed a tank and some flipped cars. It was looking worse and worse. Ricked stopped to look at some crows eating a dead whose face was missing.

"Rick, we should keep moving." He nodded and pushed the horse forward. Then out of nowhere we heard a helicopter. "Rick!" I said looking around the sky. "Do you hear that?"

We both looked around before Rick pointed forward toward a large mirror building. "There! Hyah!" I gripped Rick around the waist and we galloped forward. We rounded another right corner and ran into a hoard of dead.

My stomach disappeared. Mason began to cry. Rick was stunned. The horse bucked and it took everything I had to keep from falling off. The horsed turned back the way we came and took off. The dead were on our heels. More were in front of us.

"Oh shit." Rick said I loosed the bags on my back and let a few fall off the horse we were so fucked. They surrounded us. "Oh God." Rick growled. He was pulled off the horse and I fell with him. The horse was brought down, and we were mostly forgotten Ricked kicked a few back I held Mason to me and scooted back with my free arm until I hit the tank from before. I crawled under it as best I could with my back pressed against the metal underbelly of it.

"Rick!" I called. He followed me I held Mason close to me when I was as far under as I could go with getting closer to the other end of the tank. Panic rose in my chest. It couldn't end like this. Not after everything. Rick began shooting dead. I kicked a few away from me. "Rick" I cried. Then Rick grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I kicked more dead away as they gripped my feet. I lost one of my shoes. Rick slammed the hatch shut on a few fingers and began moving backward.

I pulled Mason closer to my chest and warped him in my arms. Rick was panting, and I could barely breath. That was so close. Too close. Tears ran down my face as I looked over to Rick. Next to him was a dead military man. Rick puled the gun off the man and his head turned to Rick. Rick shot him. I screamed and covered my ears. Fuck! Mason was crying. Rick climbed up the open hatch on the top of the tank before coming back down and closing it.

I tried to calm Mason. "Rick, Rick what are we going to do?"

"It's a mess out there. No way I can get my bag. Or yours. I, I don't know."

He checked the gun from the dead. "Some ammo here. Not much." There was some pounding on the top hatch. I closed my eyes. "Hey...Hey. I will get us out of this somehow. I don't know how, but –" A radio start to crackle.

" _Hey you. Dumbass. Yea, you in the tank. Are you cozy in there_?" I stared at the radio in shock. What the actual fuck.

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First chapter leave a review for more. I plan to write one chapter per episode, but not if I have no interest.

Thanks again!


	2. Atlanta

So again I don't own The walking Dead or the characters. I only own Sydney and her brother. So please enjoy.

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" _Hey, are you alive in there_?" Rick scrambled forward toward the radio and I moved to sit next to him.

"Hello? Hello?"

" _There you are. You had me wondering_."

"Where are you? Outside?" Rick asked. "Can you see me right now?"

" _Yeah, I can see you. You're surrounded by walkers. That's the bad news_."

"There's good news?" I asked.

" _There are two of you in there? Shit. No_."

"Listen, whoever you are, I don't mind telling you we're a little concerned in here." Rick said.

" _Oh man. You should see it from over here_. _You'd be having a major freak-out."_

"Got any advice for us?"

" _Yeah, I'd say make a run for it."_ I met Rick's eyes. What the actual fuck was this guy on. Make a run for it my ass.

"That's it? 'Make a run for it'?" Rick said.

" _My way's not as dumb as it sounds. You've got eyes on the outside here. There's one geek still up on the tank but the other have climbed down and joined the feeding frenzy where the horse went down."_ A pang of guilt went through my heart. That poor horse. " _With me so far_?"

"So far," Rick said. I looked at him like he was crazy.

" _Okay, the street on the other side of the tank is less crowded. If you guys more now while they're distracted, you stand a chance. Got ammo_?"

"In that duffle bag I dropped out there, and guns. Can I get to it?" Rick asked. I shook my head in disbelief. He wasn't actually thinking about this was he?

" _Forget the bag, okay? It's not an option. What so you have on you_?"

"Hang on." Rick said. He turned and grabbed the gun.

"Rick we aren't actually doing this? This is crazy." He grabbed the other off the dead and found a grenade.

"Listen Sydney. We don't have a choice. Think about Mason. This is our only chance. I promise I will keep you safe." He said staring at me. I could tell he meant it.

"Fuck." I growled.

"I've got a beratta with one clip, 15 rounds."

" _Make 'em count_." Rick looked at me I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled Mason closer to me. This was crazy. " _Jump off the right side of the tank, keep going in that direction. There's an alley up the street, maybe 50 yards. Be there."_

"Hey, what's your name?" Rick asked.

" _Have you been listening? You're running out of time_."

"Right," Rick said dropping the radio and turning to me. "We need to go. Give me Mason you climb out and knock back that one walker. I hand him to you and follow you out then you'll follow me to the alley."

My breathing picked up, but I nodded, and I handed Mason over. "I don't like this."

"Me either." Rick handed me a shovel from the wall and nodded to me. "You got this."

"Okay."

I climbed up and threw the hatch open before pushing myself up. I turned and swung the shovel at the walker. He fell back off the tank. I pulled myself the rest of the way out of the tank and reached back down for Mason. I climbed off the front of the tank as Rick climbed out and followed me. He ran ahead of me and aimed with the gun. I ran as close to him as possible as he shot walkers. Mason cried. We rounded a corner and Rick leveled a gun as an Asian guys face.

"Whoa! Not dead!" He yelled at Rick. "Come on! Come on!" We ran behind him, but Rick reached back and pulled me ahead of him. "Back here! Come on! Come on!"

I looked ahead at the ladder in front of us. Fuck. This was going to be so hard. "Mason can't climb!" I called in dismay.

"Give me him." Rick said taking him from my arms. The Asian guy began climbing I went up as quickly as possible behind him hoping and praying Rick knew what the fuck he was doing. "What are you doing!?" The guy yelled down to Rick. I looked back in fear. Rick had barely began climbing. "Come on!"

"Rick hurry!" I called. I heard him grunt behind me and my stomach dropped, but I didn't stop moving. The guy stopped at a balcony attached to the ladder and I joined him quickly to look back at Rick. He was close behind me with Mason. Mason had wrapped his arms around Rick's neck. The guy moved to help Rick up.

"Come on, get up. I can't believe you guys also had a child." Once Rick was close enough I reached down and took Mason. Rick joined us and we all looked down. The walkers were crowding around the bottom of the ladder and one was reaching up it. It was disgusting.

"Nice moves there, Clint Eastwood." The guys said to Rick. "You the new sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?"

"It wasn't our intention."

"Yeah, whatever. Yeehaw."

"Look, thanks for saving us, but we had no idea how bad it was here." I said curtly.

"You're still dumbasses." I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Rick. Thanks." Rick held out his hand to the guy. The guy looked a bit confused.

"Glenn. You're welcome." He tuned his gaze to me.

"Sydney. This is Mason." Rick packed a gun into Glenn's backpack.

"Oh no." Glenn said looking down.

I followed his gaze to see that a walker was attempting to climb the ladder. I looked up the building. Fuck that was so far up. I hated heights not to mention Mason was going to be a bitch to carry up that.

"The bright side: it'll be the fall that kills us." Glenn said. "I'm a glass-half-full kind of guy."

"Here I will take Mason again." Rick said opening his arms.

"Are you sure? That's a long way up." I said frowning.

"It's alright. I am a police officer after all. It's kind of my job." I scoffed but handed Mason over and began climbing.

We walked along the top of a few buildings past a blocked off alley.

"Are you the one that barricaded the alley?" Rick asked. I hitched Mason higher on my hip as we walked.

Rick jumped a small ledge and reached back to take Mason, so I could do the same. "Somebody did- I guess when the city got overrun." Glenn answered. Rick kept Mason as we broke into a small jog. "Whoever did it was thinking not many geeks would get through." We approached a hatch and slowed down.

"Back at the tank, why'd you stick your neck out for us?" Rick asked.

"Not much in it for you." I said.

"Call it foolish, naïve hope," Glenn dropped his bag down the hatch. "That if I'm ever that far up shit creek, somebody might do the same for me." He began to climb down. "Guess I'm an even bigger dumbass than you guys."

"Why more ladders?" I asked looking at Rick.

"It's fine Sydney. Get going."

We jogged through a messed-up office space out a door and down a set of metal stairs. "I'm back. Got a few guests plus four geeks in the alley." Glenn said over a walkie-talkie.

We slowed at the end of the stairs with two walkers in front of us. I took Mason and a metal door opened and two people dressed in padded outfits with bats came running out and took down the two walkers in front of us. We ran past them to the still open door, Rick ahead of Mason and me.

"Let's go!" Glenn yelled. "Morales, let's go!"

The two followed us in and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden Rick was pushed to the left and a gun was leveled with his face. A blonde woman stood in from of him pushing him back. "You son of a bitch we ought to kill you." She growled.

"Hey!" I yelled. Mason began crying again.

"Just chill out, Andrea. Back off." A Mexican man said.

"Come on, ease up." An African American woman said.

"Ease up? You're kidding me, right? We're dead because of these stupid assholes."

The Mexican man walked up to Andrea. "Andrea, I said back the hell off."

Glenn stood off to the side with a worried look. I stepped forward to stand next to Rick. I leveled my gaze with Andrea's. She didn't move. "Well, pull the trigger." The Mexican man said.

"We didn't know. Get your gun out of his face." I snapped. She looked at me in annoyance. Andrea looked back to Rick before lowering her gun and moving away. "Are you alright?" I asked Rick.

"I'm fine Sydney."

"We're dead- all of us- because of you." Andrea said shaking her head.

"I don't understand." Rick looked between the people.

"Me either." I said.

The Mexican man pulled Rick to the side and I followed. "Look, we can into the city to scavenge supplies." Everyone else was on my heels. "You know what the key to scavenging is? _Surviving_! You know the key to surviving? Sneaking in and out, tiptoeing. Not shooting up the streets like it's the O.K. corral." They stopped us in the middle of what looked like a small department store so we could see the front doors.

"Every geek for miles around heard you pooping off rounds." The African American man said.

"You just rang the dinner bell." Andrea concluded.

"Get the picture now?" The Mexican man asked. I did. There were hundreds of walkers outside the second set of glass doors. They were clawing and groaning and pushing. It was too much I pulled Mason closer and looked to Rick. I heard a crack and looked back to see a walker banging the already cracked glass with a rock. Fear crawled up my throat.

"Oh god." Andrea moved back with panic in her voice. We all moved further into the store and I stuck close to Rick. "What the hell were you doing out there anyway?"

"Trying to flag the helicopter." Rick answered.

"Helicopter? Man, that's crap. Ain't no damn helicopter." The African American man said.

"You were chasing a hallucination. Imagining this. It happens." The African American woman said.

"I saw it." Rick insisted.

"I did too. It wasn't a hallucination."

"Hey, T-Dog, try that C.B. can you contact the others?" The Mexican man asked.

"Others? The refugee center?" Rick asked. I looked up in hope at the African American women.

"Yeah, the refugee center. They've got biscuits waiting at the oven for us." My stomach dropped.

"Got no signal. Maybe the roof." T-Dog said right before a gunshot went off above our heads. Mason, who had quieted while everyone spoke, began to cry again. I hushed him.

"Oh no. Is that Dixon?" Andrea said before rushing away.

"What is that maniac doing?"

"Come on. Let's go." Glenn said motioning for us. We ran through a kitchen and up a set of stairs. More shots rang out. Mason cried more.

"I can't believe you have a child here." Andrea said.

"It wasn't my first choice." I snapped. "I was hoping to find the center for help."

"Shit outta luck there." T-Dog said.

We broke through the door at the roof and the Mexican man began yelling. "Hey, Dixon, are you crazy?"

The man in question began laughing. He was bald and scruffy looking at the same time. He had a leather vest on and jeans standing on the ledge of the building with a rifle. I didn't like him. He fired again laughing.

"Oh jeez." Andrea huffed.

"Hey! Y'all be more polite to a man with a gun!" He jumped from the ledge. "Huh? Ah! Only common sense."

"Manm you wasting bullets we ain't even got!" T-Dog jumped from the walking path. "And you're bringing even more of them down on our ass! Man, just chill."

"Hey, bad enough I've got this taco-bender on my ass all day." Yup. Didn't like this guy as fucking all. He waved the gun around. "Now I'm gonna take orders from you? I don't think so, bro. That'll be the day." I stepped behind Rick with Mason.

"'That'll be the day'? You got something you want to tell me?" T-Dog motioned to himself.

"Hey, T-Dog man, just leave it." The Mexican man said.

"No"

"All right? It ain't worth it. Now Merle, just relax, okay? We've got enough trouble."

Rick turned to Glenn and motioned to Merle in question. Glenn shook his head.

"You want to know the day?" Merle asked.

"Yeah."

"I'll tell you the day, Mr. 'Yo.'" He motioned with his hands and lifted the gun higher. "It's the day I take orders from a nigger."

T-Dog reached up and tried to punch Merle. "Mother-" Merle hit him in the face with the butt of the rifle.

"Hey, come on, Merle. That's enough."

Andrea yelled "Come on." And everyone started getting loud.

Rick climbed over some pipes and Merle punched him back. I pushed Mason into Glenn's arms before jumping on Merle's back. I put my arms around his neck and legs around his waisted before squeezing my arms as tightly as I could. Merle bucked his head back and kicked T-Dog in the chest. I tightened my grip. Merle reached back grabbed my hair and pulled me over his body. I screamed. Merle kicked me before moving back to T-Dog and slamming him into the pipes.

"Whoa, cut it out, man!"

"Stop it!"

"Dixon, get off him!"

I held my stomach and tried to catch my breath.

"Dixon you're gonna hurt him!"

I looked over to see Merle punching T-Dog on the ground.

"Merle cut it out!"

Merle pulled a gun on T-Dog and Andrea begged. Everyone stopped moving. Merle Spit on T-Dog and then yelled. "Yeah! All right! We're gonna have ourselves a little powwow, huh? Talk about who's in charge. I vote me. Anybody else?" The other pulled T-Dog away and Mason came up to me crying again. This poor boy. "Huh? Democracy time, y'all. Show of hands, huh? All in favor? Huh? Come on. Let's see 'em."

"Oh, come on." Andrea muttered.

Merle had his back to Rick and I as Rick approached me.

"I'm alright." I murmured. I could feel the bruise that was going to form on my stomach, but nothing was broken. Rick began to approach Merle from behind with the rifle.

"All in favor?" Glenn raised his hand. The African American women flipped Merle off. "Yeah. That's good." Andrea raised her hand. "Now that means I'm the boss, right? Yeah. Anybody else? Hmm? Anybody?"

" _Yeah_." Merle turned, and Rick nailed him in the face with the butt of the rifle. Rick put his knee on Merle's face and cuffed him to a nearby pipe. Rick picked him off the ground and got in his face.

"Who the hell are you, man?!" Merle growled.

"Officer friendly."

Rick patted Merle down and took his handgun. "Look here, Merle. Things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart."

"Screw you, man."

"I can see you make a habit of missing the point."

"Yeah? Well, screw you twice."

Rick shook his head and place the gun to Merle's temple. "Ought to be polite to a man with a gun." Rick cocked the gun. I tensed up and quickly made my way over to Rick. "Only common sense."

"Rick," I said gently. "I know he is an asshole, but we need to be careful with these people."

Merle looked at me then back at Rick. "You wouldn't. You're a cop."

"All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anybody that gets in the way of that is gonna lose. I'll give you a moment to think about that." Rick checked Merle's pockets and found drugs. He tilted Merle's face. "Got some on your nose there."

"What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" He laughed. Rick walked to the edge of the building and threw it off. "Hey! What are you doing? Man, that was my stuff! Hey! If I get loose, you'd better pray- Yeah, you hear me, you pig?! You hear me!?" I followed Rick.

"Yeah, your voice carries." Merle kept yelling. I leaned againt the ledge of the building next to Rick.

"You're not Atlanta P. D." The Mexican man joined us at the ledge. "Where are you from?"

"Up the road a ways."

"And you?"

"Up North. Family trip ended suddenly."

"Well, officer friendly from up the road a ways, and the northerner, welcome to the big city."

Thunder clapped in the distance, but it couldn't drown out the moaning of the walkers below. I turned and walked to the other females along the adjacent side of the building. I could hear the two men behind me.

"God, it's like times square down there." Andrea said with a twisted face. I watched the bodies below move slowly around.

"Sydney," Mason grabbed my shirt. "I gotta potty again."

"Shit," I whispered under my breath. I had lost my bag with all the supplies at the tank. "One second buddy." I turned to Rick.

"How's that signal?" Morales asked.

"Like Dixon's brain-weak" T-Dog returned.

"Keep trying."

"Rick," I reached for his shirt sleeve to get his attention.

"Why? There's nothing they can do." Andrea said form the other side of me. Rick and Morales turned to look at each other. "Not a damn thing."

"Got some people outside the city is all." Morales told us. "There's no refugee center. That's a pipe dream."

"Then she's right." Rick said sadly looking at me. "We're on our own. It's up to us to find a way out."

"Good luck with that." Merle said from the pipe. "These streets ain't safe in this part of town from what I hear. Ain't that right, sugar tits?" He turned to Andrea. "Hey, Honeybunch, what say you get me out of these cuffs, we go off somewhere and bump some uglies? Gonna die anyway."

"I'd rather." Andrea responded continuing to rifle through a bag.

"Rug muncher. I figured as much." He turned back to us as Andrea found what she wanted and made her way back over.

"The streets ain't safe. Now there's an understatement." Morales said.

"What about under the streets? The sewers?" Rick asked.

"Oh, man. Hey, Glenn, check the alley. You see any manhole covers?" Glenn ran to check the alley.

"How 'bout you sugar mamma?" Merle said gazing over at me. "That body looks awfully fine from where I'm sitting."

"He's my baby brother you pig." I said shooting him a nasty look. "I need some supplies for him." I turned to Andrea. "Is there any pullup or something similar downstairs?"

"I'm not sure we'd have to check."

Glenn returned. "No, must be all out on the street where the geeks are."

"Maybe not." The African American women said. "Old building like this built in the '20s- big structures often had drainage tunnels into the sewers in case of flooding down in the subbasements."

"How do you know that?" Glenn asked.

"It's my job- was. I worked in the city zoning office." Jacqui said.

We all made our way down stairs save T-Dog and Merle. I stopped in the store and turned to Rick he paused. "I'm going to look for supplies to change Mason. Maybe a bathroom." Rick looked at the front door where the walkers were still gathering.

"Be safe."

"You too."

I traveled around the store searching for anything, but I only found clothes, shoes and jewelry. I at least got to find a new pair of shoes to travel in since I lost one of mine. They were going to cause calluses, but I would have to live through it. No pull-ups or diapers. I found some clothes on sale that looked like Christmas towels of some short. I took another backpack and stuffed as many of them as I could into bag. This would have to do. I dug around in the draws for some pins and found a plastic container of safety pins. Rick and Andrea came around the corner form before and approached me.

"Find anything?" Rick asked.

"No. I got some clothes that I can try to make into diapers, but I haven't ever done that before."

"Here," Andrea said. "Let me try. My mom wanted to try going green when my little sister was born so I had to do that. I think I can remember how to do it."

I set him down on the counter and Andrea came over to help me.

"Sorry for the gun in your face, Rick."

"People do things when they're afraid."

"Not that it was entirely unjustified." Andrea showed me how to fold the cloth and I pinned them. "You did get us into this."

"If I get us out, would that make up for it?"

"No, but it'd be a start."

"Give him a break." I said picking Mason back up. "He was thrown into all of this without any kind of warning. On top of that, we had no idea the city was this bad."

Andrea shook her head and moved some jewelry around. "Doesn't change the situation."

"Next time though," Rick said. "Take the safety off. It won't shoot otherwise."

I looked down at her hands. I hadn't even noticed that before. No wonder Rick was scared when she was waving it around.

"Oh," Andrea looked down at her gun.

"Is that your gun?" Rick asked.

"It was a gift. Why?"

Rick reached out and took the gun from her before showing her how the safety worked. Mason started wiggling around so I put him down and let him walk around.

"Little red dot means it's ready to fire. You may have occasion to use it."

"Good to know."

"Andrea," I said turning to her. "How long has the city been over run. I hadn't heard anything for a couple weeks. I've been trying to get here for so long."

"Almost right after everything went down." She said.

My stomach dropped, and I turned to watch Mason pull a couple shirts down from their hangers. Rick touched my arm.

"It'll be okay. You can stay with me."

"It's not that." I said turning away from my little brother. "How, if the military and strong hold can't do it, will we ever be able to?"

Silence hung in the air for a while. I looked at Rick hoping he would come up with an answer I couldn't see. I needed him to.

"Because we are fighting for people we love."

I closed my eyes. He was right. For Mason I would do anything. I had to do anything. I had no choice. Andrea approached my little brother and crouched down.

"Hey little guy, how old are you."

Mason raised his hand and held up two fingers. I waved at him and held up three. He giggled and put one more finger up.

"You are too cute." Andrea said. "How 'bout I show you where some toys are. There was a little truck in one of these draws."

She stood and held her hand down to him. He looked at me nervously. I nodded my head and watched her lead him to the draws I rifled through earlier. She lifted him up and helped him look through the draws. When she found the little hot wheels green truck she handed it to him before placing him back on the ground. He dropped to his knees and started to drive the car along the floor. I knew I shouldn't let him be on the gross floor, but I felt like germs were the least of our problems now. Andrea came to stand next to me and looked through the jewelry.

"Thanks," I said a bit reluctantly.

"No problem."

She began to check out a mermaid necklace. Rick looked over at us. Andrea smiled.

"See something you like?" Rick asked coming over to stand beside the two of us.

"Not me, but I know someone who would- my sister." The tone of her voice, happy and loving, hurt me. I turned a bit away my chest aching. Tears welled in my eyes. I missed my family. "She's still such a kid in some ways. Unicorns, dragons- she's into all that stuff. But mermaids— they rule. She loves mermaids." My sister loved that stuff too. I watched the walkers at the door. Tears falling over my cheeks. I wiped at them.

"Why not take it?" Rick asked.

"There's a cop staring at me." I chocked on a laugh and turned back to them. Rick smiled. "Would it be considered looting?"

"I don't think those rules apply anymore. Do you?" Rick asked.

"I don't think _any_ rules apply anymore." I said sadly.

Andrea took the necklace and put it in her pocket. Glass began shattering as the second set of doors fell apart. I ran to Mason and scoped him up. Rick ran to the door and held his gun up waiting for the other doors to break. Morales, Jacqui and Glenn came running over.

"What did you find down there?" Rick asked lowering his gun.

"Not a way out." Morales answered.

"We need to find a way…and soon." Andrea said.

"As soon a fucking possible." I said fear lacing its way up my chest.

On the roof again, Rick was looking through binoculars for any other options. Mason was on the floor playing with his truck. Merle was still being an asshole.

"That construction site, those trucks- they always keep keys on hand."

"It's so far away." I said.

"You'll never make it past the walkers." Morales said.

"There's no fucking way, even with the duffle from earlier. There's to many." I said looking at the road below covered worse than an anthill.

"You got us out of that tank." Rick turned to Glenn.

"Yeah, but they were feeding. They were distracted."

"Can we distract them again?"

"Right. Listen to him. He's onto something. A diversion, like on 'Hogan's Heroes.'" Merle drawled.

"God. Give it a rest." Jacqui said.

"They're drawn by sound, right?" Rick asked.

"Right, like dogs. They hear a sound, they come." Glenn said.

"What else?" Rick asked.

"Aside from they hear you?" Morales asked.

"They can smell you. See you are different." I said.

"If they catch you, they eat you." Morales finished.

"They can tell us by smell?" Rick asked his brows pulled together looking at me in disbelief.

"Can't you?" Glenn asked.

"They smell dead, we don't. It's pretty distinct." Andrea said. Rick looked around at us all. Before his nose sruched up.

"I have an idea. You're not going to like it."

"This is crazy. You're playing with fire." Down in the store again I turned to Rick. Mason was attached to my pant leg. Rick was grabbing rubber gloves and over coats passing them out to people.

"If bad ideas were an Olympic event, this would take the gold." Glenn said holding the gloves Rick gave him.

"They're right." Morales said. "Just stop, okay? Take some time to think this through."

"How much time?" Rick asked. "They already got through one set of doors, that glass won't hold forever." He threw more clothes at people.

"Damn it." I said pulling a trench coat on.

"What?" Andrea asked.

"I hate it when he's right."

Rick and Morales ran out into the alley and pulled one of the dead walkers into the room. I had Mason sit at the door into the store and play with his truck. Rick had a face mask from the garage on and broke the fire axe box with a tire iron. We all stood around the dead body covered with jackets and gloves. Rick was holding the axe. He went to cut with a few steps back I flinched away. He never hit the body. I looked back. He dropped the mask and axe on the floor before patting the body down. He pulled its wallet out.

"Wayne Dunlap. Georgia license. Born in 1979." He passed Wayne's license around. "He had $28 in his pocket when he died…and a picture of a pretty girl. 'With love from Rachel'. He used to be life us- worrying about bills or the rent or the super bowl. If I ever find my family, I'm gonna tell them about Wayne." He returned the wallet and collected the axe, gloves, and mask.

"One more thing-" Glenn said. "He was an organ donor."

Rick raised the axe and brought it down on his body. I gagged and covered my nose turning away. I heard bone cracking and Rick grunting I swallowed and turned back. The bodies leg was off. Rick cur the arm off. I gagged again. Rick took off the mask and handed it with the axe to Morales.

"Keep chopping."

"I am so gonna hurl." Glenn groaned.

"Later," Rick took a step back while Morales continued to cut up the body. "Everybody got gloves? Don't get any on your skin or in your eyes." He bent down and dug in. I reached forward and grabbed as much as I could fighting past my gag reflex. I walked over to Rick who was already covering himself in the red gook and started lathering it onto his back.

"I really hope this works out," I said. "Because I have gotten used to you, Officer Friendly."

"It will."

Everyone covered Rick and Glenn with the internal organs of the walker Wayne. I tried to hold my breath while I did it, but it was hard. I took some intestines and laid them over Rick's shoulder. This was so fucking gross.

"Oh jeez. Oh, this is bad." Glenn whimpered. "This is really bad."

"It'll be okay Glenn. Just breath through it best you can." I comforted patting his shoulder.

"Think about something else-" Rick said. "puppies and kittens."

"Dead puppies and kittens." T-Dog added. Glenn vomited.

"Nice T-Dog." I smacked his shoulder.

"That is just evil. What is wrong with you?" Andera said.

"Next time let the cracker beat his ass." Jacqui said. I barked a laugh.

"I'm sorry, yo."

"You _suck_." Glenn groaned.

"Sydney," Mason called. I looked over.

"What is it buddy?" He came over towards us. "No, Mason stay."

He stopped moving and frowned. "I want mommy."

I closed my eyes and turned away. It hurt to know my mom could never hold him again.

"Go ahead Sydney," Rick patted my arm. "We can finish." His eyes said everything he wasn't. He understood how hard it was for me.

"Do we smell like them?" Rick asked as I removed my disgusting clothes.

"Oh yeah," Andrea said. "Glenn, just in case."

I bent down and picked up Mason. He pushed back from me and looked me in the face. "I'm sorry buddy, but mommy can't come."

Tears welled in his eyes. "I want mommy!" he cried.

I walked back to the store and started rocking my body back and forth. He was tired. I needed him to fall asleep or he would just get louder. I could hear more chopping from the garage. I started walking towards the stairs to the roof. I rocked him as best I could as I climbed the stairs. He continued to cry. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut before starting to sing him "Fix You" by Coldplay which my mother used to sing to him before bed. The song jus calmed him. We found it by accident one day when the radio started to play in the car and he just stopped his frantic crying. More tears fell my face now as I pictured my mother rocking Mason to sleep. I had no idea what I was doing with him.

"When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse."

I stopped half way up the stairs as Mason began to settle down. Tears were streaming down my face. This was so hard. I sat down on the stairs. It only made it worse that I couldn't sing well at all, but at least he was calming down.

"When the tears come streaming down your face  
'Cause you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
What could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

But high up above or down below  
When you are too in love to let it show  
Oh but if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth."

I heard the door at the bottom of the stairs swing open, but I didn't stop singing Mason had rested his head in the crook of my neck and I needed him to fall asleep. I was just extremely happy my mother sang this song so much because otherwise I would have forgotten the entire thing.

"Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

Tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
oh and tears come streaming down your face  
And I."

The group came level with us and I smiled sadly at them. They didn't stop. I didn't want them too. Mason was nearly completely asleep. Once he was down I would join them.

"Tears streaming down your face  
I promise you I will learn from all my mistakes  
oh and the tears streaming down your face  
And I

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you."

I ended the song and stood to rock him some more. I could hear him breathing evenly, but I gave it a couple more minutes before heading the rest of the way up the stairs. It was pouring outside. Fear laced through me so fast I didn't think about the fact that Mason would wake up. The blood would wash off! I ran to where the others were crowded up and looked over the edge.

"What's going on are they okay!"

"They are running." Morales said. "Come on. Come on. Come ON… They made it over the fence!"

"They got in the truck!"

"Thank God," I Whispered.

"They're leaving us." Andrea said.

"What? What?" Merle yelled.

"No. No. No. No." Morales whispered. "Where are they going? Where are they going?"

"No no, come back." Andrea cried.

"They won't leave." I said. Not after what I saw in Rick's eyes. "They need a plan."

"Those roll-up doors at the front of the store. Facing the street- meet us there and be ready." Glenn's voice came over the radio. Mason was gripping my shirt tightly he may not understand what was going on, but he felt the tension. I grabbed Andrea and handed Mason to her.

"Take him I need to gather our stuff. I'll grab yours too." She frowned I pressed Mason into her harder and grabbed for one of her closer, smaller bags. "Take this and GO!" She went with Morales and Jacqui quickly.

"Hey, you can't leave me here!" Merle yelled. "I'm not fooling, Man! Morales! Hey, man don't do this!"

I turned around and started packing my bag again. Just some clothes and other shit from the store below. T-Dog was with me. My jacket clung annoyingly to my arms as the meager granola bar and water bottle I found in the store pulled it down.

"T-Dog," I yelled. "Where is the key!"

T-Dog stopped on the path to the door. I looked up at him. We couldn't leave Merle here. It wasn't right. Merle continued to yell. T- Dog was frozen.

"Fuckign throw me the key or something!" I yelled. I removed my jacket and threw it to the ground. T-Dog came running back and tripped. I lunged for the key, but it fell through a pipe. Merle started yelling. Fuck.

"Here is food and water!" I yelled kicking my jacket to Merle and started to run to the door. "I will fucking come back!" I ran through the door. "Chain this." I snapped and T-Dog paused and locked the door so it was closed.

We ran down the stairs and T-Dog yelled down to the others. I pressed faster down ahead of him. This was all one great big fucking mess. We made it to the store as the second set of glass windows fell to the bodies on the other side. We around the corner to the doors and helped pull the chain as quickly as possible. The walkers around behind us. I jumped in last and Morales slammed the door down. I took Mason and moved up closer to Rick.

"I dropped the damn key." T-Dog said.

"Where's Glenn?" Andrea asked.

"He took the car with the alarm." Rick said

* * *

So that is chapter 2. I hope you enjoyed it.

Please review so I know if you like it! Even a 'I like it' is fine.


	3. Confrontation

Sorry for how long this has taken. I was not expecting a lot of what happened in the last couple of years. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. I am working on more chapters, I am just a little slow because I struggle with time management. Please enjoy.

We sat in the truck with Rick driving. I was wedged between the two front seats leaning back against Rick facing Morales. In my mind I kept hearing Merle screaming on the roof. The air was heavy in the van, but Mason was falling back asleep, so I was happy it was quiet.

"Best not to dwell on it," Morales said. "Merle got left behind. Nobody's gonna be sad he didn't come back. Except maybe Daryl."

"Who's Daryl?" I asked quietly at the same time Rick questioned. "Daryl?"

"His brother." A pang ran through my heart. Of course, Merle had a brother. Fuck. The car Glenn was driving came up beside the van it's alarms still blaring. "At least somebody's having a good day."

"He doesn't know about Merle." I said looking back down at Mason. Morales radio Glenn to tell him the news. We finished the trip in silence.

Rick stopped the car in the woods of a canyon areas. "Come meet everybody." Morales said opening the door and stepping out. Rick rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

"I know this puts more time between you finding your family." I said softly shifting to sit in the passenger seat looking at him and reaching to garb his hand. "But you just say it and we will leave to find them." He looked at me and I gave him a reassuring smile.

"Thank you," he said before turning and unlocking the door. I removed my hand form his and opened my door.

"Now let's go meet some more people and tell Daryl about his brother."

"And that we are going back for him?" Rick asked opening his door.

"And all our stuff too." I said. I rounded the van to his side as he climbed out.

"Hey, Helicopter Boy and Northerner, come say hello." Morales called.

"Let's do this." I said.

Rick nodded and turned to the others closing his door and looking up. "Guys a cop like you."

I looked up at all the people crowded in front of the van. There was a women kneeling in front of a boy, Morales's family was with him, Andrea was holding her sister, and there was just so many more. I wondered which was Merle's brother. Rick stopped moving and I turned back to him. He was staring ahead with a dazed look. His eyes were watering.

"Rick, are you alright?" I followed his gaze back to the women and boy. Did he know them? Were they his family? I looked back to him.

"Oh my god." He whispered. He began moving forward. The boy separated from his mother and ran to Rick.

"DAD! DAD!" He screamed. The mother followed the boy running. Rick dropped to the ground and hugged the boy.

"Carl." He stood holding his son and walked to his wife. She looked so dazed. As if she didn't recognize her own husband. She started to cry. I closed my eyes as the tears welled in my eyes. I was so happy for Rick, but I wondered if this meant he wouldn't need Mason and I around anymore. Rick tuned his head to look at me and gently removed himself from his wife's embrace. He motioned to me. I began moving forward slowly.

"Sydney, this is my boy, Carol, and my wife Lori." He kissed his wife's head again. "Lori, this is Sydney and Mason I ran into them on the way to Atlanta."

I smiled and held my free hand out to her. She took it, but she still had a shocked look on her face. Mason started to wiggle so I put him on the ground.

"Is he your son?" Lori asked.

"Oh, no. He is my baby brother. My parents and siblings…" I pressed my lips together and watched Mason approach Morales's kids. "They are no longer with us."

"I'm sorry."

"Nobody is untouched by death in this world." I said softly before walking after Mason to meet Morales's family.

Later that night we were gathered around a fire. I sat next to Rick and his family. It was cold, but I had Mason wrapped in a jacket one of the other people had been willing to offer me. He was mostly asleep in my lap, but he was fighting it.

"Disoriented. I guess that comes closest. Disoriented. Fear, confusion- all those things but… Disoriented comes closest."

"Words can be meager things." Dale, the owner of the motorhome said. "Sometimes they fall short."

"I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life and put somewhere else." Rick said looking into the fire. "For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake form ever." Rick tightened his grip on Lori and Carl. I shifted Mason and leaned back further on the log behind me. I had heard this before. Had tried to comfort him about it, but I understand how he feels. We all do, but he didn't have a warning. Nothing that told him it was coming. He literally woke up in the middle of an apocalypse.

"Mom said you died." Carl said.

"She had every reason to believe that." Rick responded. "Don't you ever doubt it."

I watched the three of them and it made my heartache. My little brother would never be able to know my parents. Rick looked over at me and I smiled to reassure him. He had continuously checked on me since we arrived. He asked the first couple of times if I was comfortable and if I needed some time alone. I actually preferred to be around others. It let me think about other things than my family.

"When things started to get really bad, they told me at the hospital that they were gonna medevac you and the other patients to Atlanta, and it never happened." Lori said running her hands through Carl's hair.

"Well, I'm not surprised after Atlanta fell." Rick said.

"Yeah." Lori whispered.

"And from the look of that hospital, it got overrun." Rick shook his head.

"Yeah, looks don't deceive. I barely got them out, you know?" Shane said.

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane." Rick said looking Shane directly in the eye. "Can't begin to express it."

"There go those words falling short again." Dale said. "Paltry things."

I yawned and caught Lorri's attention. "Do you have anywhere to sleep tonight?"

"No. I dropped my bag in Atlanta. I didn't have a tent though. Usually I broke into a car close to sunset and locked it over the night." I said shifting Mason so his head fell onto my shoulder.

"Well, we have an extra tent around here you can use it." Lori said.

"Thank you."

At the fire next to us one of the guys I hadn't met yet threw another log on the fire.

"Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" Shane said. Everyone turned their heads to look.

"It's cold, man." Ed said.

"The cold don't change the rules, does it?" Shane asked. "Keep our fires low, just embers so we can't be seen from a distance, right?"

"I said it's cold." Ed grumbled. "You should mind your own business for once."

Shane got up and walked over to the other fire. I couldn't hear much of that Shane said from over here. But Ed raised his voice.

"Go on. Pull the damn thing out." He said to his wife as Shane stood over him. "Go on."

His wife stood and removed the log. Shane stomped out the embers. "Hey, Carol, Sophia, how are y'all this evening?"

"Fine. We're just fine." Carol, I assumed, said. I strained my hearing to hear her.

"Okay." Shane said

"I'm sorry about the fire."

"No no no. No apology needed. Y'all have a good night, okay?" Shane stood and walked have towards us. "I appreciate the cooperation." Shane at down at the circle again.

"Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon?" Dale sullenly said. "He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind." I sat up straighter. I needed to be a part of this conversation. It was what I wanted to talk anout.

"I'll tell him. I dropped the key. It's on me." T-Dog said.

"I cuffed him. That makes it mine." Rick said.

"Guys, it's not a competition." Glenn spoke up. "I don't mean to bring race into this, but it might sound better coming from a white guy."

"I did what I did." T-Dog said. "Hell if I'm gonna side from him."

"I think that is ridiculous," I said. "As much of an asshole as Merle was, T-Dog didn't do it because Merle was racist. I was there I can vouch for T-Dog."

"We could lie." Amy said.

"Or tell the truth." Andrea said shaking her head. "Merle was out of control. Something had to be done or he'd have gotten us killed. Your husband did what was necessary." She looked at Lori. "And if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's."

"And that's what we tell Daryl?" Dale asked. "I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you? Word to the wise- we're gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt."

"I was scared and I ran." T-Dog said. "I'm not ashamed of it."

"We were all scared." Andrea said. "We all ran. What's your point?"

"He had the key. I wanted him to throw it to me. He came back instead. It fell. We had no choice T-Dog." I said.

"I stopped long enough to chain that door." T-Dog said. "Sydney had me do it. Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It's not enough to break through that- not that chain, not that padlock. My point- Dixon's alive and he's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. That's on us." He looked at me.

"I gave him a water bottle and the food in my jacket." I said. Everyone looked at me, but enough had been said. The air was now thick with guilt.

"It's time I put Mason to bed." I said standing.

"Let me help you pitch the tent." Dale said.

The next morning, I woke to Mason's hands on my face. He smiled at me and patted my face. The sun had lit the tent around us. I reached out and pulled him onto my cot. He sat up and looked at me.

"Sydney, why are we here? Why can't we go home?"

"Home is very far away." I said sadly. "It is too far for us to go now. We need to stay with these people now. With Rick and his family. You remember Rick?" He nodded. "He said he would protect us. We can be safe here. With everyone."

"But I miss mommy and daddy and Tracy and Jamie, and grammy and papa."

"I know buddy, I know. I do to." I wiped at my face and hugged him to me. "We need to stay here though." His stomach growled and I smiled sadly. "Let's get some breakfast."

I picked him up and reached for my clothes but froze when Carol's voice spoke from outside the tent.

"Sydney, I was wondering if you wanted me to clean Mason's and your clothes?"

"Oh. No Carol that's okay. I can do that."

"I am cleaning anyway, and you guys had such a long journey. I would really love to help."

"Well," I felt bad not doing it myself, but I was hungry. " I haven't got any other clothes."

"I brought some you could use till yours and Mason's dry."

I unzipped wearing my underwear and kami. "Thank you, Carol." I swapped clothes with her and got dressed.

I found Lori by herself at the fire. "Rick is still sleeping." She said.

"That's okay I was actually hoping to get some food for us?"

"Oh, yes of course." She gave me some food and I sat to feed Mason. "How old is he?"

"Three." I said smiling. "He was actually an accident baby. My little sister is fifteen. The doctors told my mom she couldn't have kids anymore. She always wanted a larger family, and when she got pregnant my parents couldn't believe it. They had given up trying almost four years prior, so it was rather funny. I mean they are still relatively young. They had me in their early twenties, so they were in their early forties when he was born. My dad wasn't super happy cause he was looking forward to retiring, but I don't think any of us would have changed it. My brother is happy to no longer be the only boy. And Mason is such a good boy. My parents are so proud of…" I stopped speaking. My parents couldn't be proud anymore. My sister was fifteen she isn't anymore. My brother couldn't be happy anymore. They were all gone. "They wouldn't have changed it anyway." I finished softly turning back to my food.

"Well he seems like a perfect little boy." Lori said patting my shoulder gently. Carl came over and asked if he could play with Mason. I was a but shocked considering Mason is a lot younger, I suspected Rick had something to do with this, but I agreed and watched them run off. I spent the rest of the time eating and chatting with Lori and Amy and Andrea until Rick appeared. Lori was hanging laundry now.

"Morning, Officer." She said.

"Look at Sleeping Beauty finally gracing us with his presence." I said laughing. Rick raised an eyebrow at me before turning to his wife. I looked over at Andrea and Amy. They were sharing a look.

"Hey," Rick said.

"You sleep okay?" Lori asked.

"Better than in a long time."

"I figured you could use it."

"Good. What?"

"I've been thinking about the man we left behind." I perked up.

"You're not serious." Lori was obviously riled up.

Shane pulled up in a jeep, a bit faster than necessary with water jugs. Rick waved.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Lori asked.

"Asking."

"Well, I think it's crazy. I think it is just the stupidest way to break your son-" Someone began screaming and Carl yelled for his mom. I stood on instinct and began running after Rick and Lori. Mason was with Carl. Glenn threw Rick a weapon and sent a tire iron my way. Mason was in Jacqui's arms and Carl ran to Lori. I stopped long enough to make sure Mason wasn't bite. Jacqui was holding him tightly and he was clinging to her. I ran after the men. I had to know what was going on. What had threatened my baby brother's life.

We ran around a bunch of brush to find a walker feasting on a dead deer. Rick moved me behind him and I frowned. I could handle myself. Though it did make me feel better. Let me know that he still cared about me. The walker pulled more insides from the deer's neck and began eating it. I wanted to vomit a little. Okay a lot, but I swallowed back my feelings and shifted around Rick, so I could stand next to him. Everyone circled around the walker and it looked up from the deer before standing. Rick swung his bar at it and everyone began hitting it. I stabbed the tire iron into its chest before Dale cut its head off with an axe.

"It's the first one we've had up here. They never come this far up the mountain." Dale said.

"Well, they're running out of food in the city, that's what." Jim said.

"They will just keep coming." I said squatting next to the deer. "The walker killed the deer even with all these arrows."

"How do you know that?" Rick asked.

"The clotting in its throat. The blood is still flowing a bit."

Branches began breaking behind me and I stood spinning around quickly. "Sydney," Rick said. "Come over here." I didn't move mostly because I could see movement between the foliage. Rick came around and stood next to me. I pointed to the dark figure in the trees. Shane moved in front of everyone with his shotgun raised.

A man with short hair and a green tank top and a crossbow appeared and everyone around me save for Rick and I relaxed.

"Oh, Jesus." Shane muttered.

"Son of a bitch." The guy from the woods growled. "That's my deer!" He approached everyone, and Rick pulled me back a bit. "Look at it. All gnawed on by this…" He kicked the body of the walker "filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!" I raised my eyes.

"Calm down, son." Dale said. "That's not helping."

"What do you know about it, old man?" The man said. I had a feeling this was Daryl Dixon. "Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to 'on golden pond?' I've been tracking this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?"

"I would not risk that." Shane said.

"We don't know how the sickness travels." I said. "Even if we overcooked the meat it is questionable." Daryl looked at me with squinted eyes.

"That's a damn shame. I got some squirrel- about a dozen or so. That'll have to do." He turned and kicked the walkers head. It started to move its mouth in a chopping motion.

"Oh God." Amy whimpered. Andrea moved her away.

"Come on, people. What the hell?" Daryl shot it through the eye with an arrow. He moved forward and stepped on the head to remove the arrow. "It's gotta be the brain. Don't y'all know nothing?" He moved past all of us and I followed him first. "Merle!" My stomach dropped. "Merle! Get your ugly ass out here!" Daryl yelled. "I got us some squirrel! Let's stew 'em up." He dropped his load by the fire pit.

"Daryl, just slow up a bit. I need to talk to you." Shane called.

I put my tire iron in the back of the jeep and quickly caught up with the two men. I could see all the other women in front of the RV. Jacqui was still holding Mason. "About what?" Daryl asked.

"About Merle. There was a- problem in Atlanta."

Daryl looked around at everyone Rick came up beside me. Jacqui brought Mason into the RV and I was grateful for her. "He dead?"

"We're not sure." Shane said.

I stepped forward. "I don't think he is." Daryl spun to look at me. I could see in his eyes the desperation of a brother who didn't want to lose his family.

"He either is or he ain't!" He yelled at me turning back to Shane. "Who is this bitch?!"

I probably didn't deserve that, but I could tell he was in pain, so I was going to let it go. I understand where he was coming from.

"No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it." Rick said stepping forward.

"Who are you?"

"Rick Grimes, that is Sydney Tremont."

"Rick Grimes and Sydney Tremont. You got something you wanna tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there." T-Dog approached the circle of on lookers carrying fire wood. I motioned for him to stay back, but I wasn't sure if he saw.

"Hold on. Let me process this." Daryl said. I walked up to stand next to Rick. He looked down at me and shook his head. I clenched my teeth and stood my ground. "You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and you left him there!"

"Yeah." Rick said.

"I gave him food and water." I piped up trying to diffuse the situation.

Daryl took a step back before throwing the squirrels he had at Rick and attempting to run at him. Shane side swiped him, and Daryl went down.

"Hey," T-Dog said rushing forward and dropping the wood. Daryl pulled a weapon out of his hip hostler and every took a step back. "Watch the knife!"

Daryl swung at Rik and Rick punch him in the stomach. Shane reached over and put Daryl in a head lock. I jumped forward and put my face in Daryl's.

"You'd best let me go!" he yelled.

"Nah, I think it's better I don't." Shane said.

"Listen," I snapped in Daryl's face. I wasn't afraid of him. He was like a big dog at the vet clinic I worked at. He was ready to bite, but you just needed to find the right thing to defuse them. "Your brother is still on that roof. We locked the door. Most likely he is still alive. I gave him-" Daryl bucked trying to get out of Shane's hold and hit me in the nose. "Damn it." I snapped grabbing my face.

"Choke hold's illegal." Daryl said. Rick ducked his head to check on me, my nose was bleeding.

"You can file a complaint." Shane said. "Come on, man. We'll keep this up all day."

Rick got closer and crouched in front of Daryl. Lori came over to me with a towel and helped me tilt my head back to stop the bleeding. "I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic. Do you think we can manage that?" I heard Rick say. "Do you think we can manage that?"

"Yeah." Daryl nearly snarled.

"What I did was not on a whim." Rick said. I took the towel from Lori and checked the bleeding it was mostly done. "Your brother does not work and play well with others." I looked down and removed the towel after wiping my face as clean as possible. I kept hold of it to wipe the trickle of blood as it fell from my nose. Daryl was on the ground in front of Rick. This poor guy. I understood the loss of family, but he had a chance to fix it if he would just relax a sec.

"It's not Rick's fault. I had the key." T-Dog said. "I dropped it."

"You couldn't pick it up?" Daryl asked.

"He dropped it down a drain on the roof." I said moving to stand a little more between T-Dog and Daryl. Who knew how much like his brother Daryl was?

Daryl lowered his head. Before standing up and approaching us. I dropped the towel and narrowed my eyes at him.

"If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't."

"Well, maybe this will. Look, we" he motioned between the two of us. "chained the door to the roof, so the geeks couldn't get at him, with a padlock."

"It's gotta count for something." Rick said. Daryl turned to look at him before turning back to us. I could see the anguish on his face.

"Hell with all y'all! Just tell me where he is so's I can go get him."

"He'll show you. Isn't that right?" Lori asked.

"I'm going back- we" he pointed at me and I nodded. "are going back." Lori looked away and climbed into the RV. I walked up to Rick, I felt bad that Lori was upset, but we needed our bags, and nobody deserved to die tied up to a roof. He looked over my face and frowned.

"You shouldn't have gotten so close."

"I was trying to jar him out of his anger." I shrugged.

"Well get ready to go back I guess." I nodded and headed into the RV to speak to Lori.

I walked up to Mason who was playing with Carl and Sophia at the RV table. I ruffled his hair to get his attention and he turned to me with a smile on his face. I was awestruck for a moment it had been a while since I had seen such a genuine smile on his face. I crouched down in front of him.

"Hey Buddy, I have to leave for a little while is that okay?" His smile fell from his face. "It's okay. I will be back tonight. I will only be gone a few hours. You can stay and play with Carl and Sophia."

"But I want to go with you," His lower lip quivered and my heart broke. I couldn't stay because my bag had pictures and memories of my family and tokens from them. I needed them for me and for Mason. I couldn't let him forget.

"I'm sorry Buddy, but you can't come with me. It isn't safe."

"Why?"

"Because… Do you remember the last time you saw Mommy and Daddy?" He nodded. "Do you remember what they said?" He nodded again. "Like mommy and daddy said when it is dangerous you can't come, but you can keep this." I reached for my neck and removed the cat necklace I wore. I put it over his head and touched his cheek. Tears welled up in my eyes. "You can keep this until we meet again." He looked like he was gonna cry, but he was such a good boy he nodded and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Don't be gone as long as Mommy, Daddy, Jamie, and Tracey." I pressed my forehead to his.

"I promise I will be back." I stood and waited for Carl to grab his attention before turning to Lori who was watching me. I pressed my lips together before approaching her at the front of the RV.

"Lori," I said.

"Why are you going back? For Merle?"

"No," I looked back at Mason. "My bag that I dropped has photos of my family. Photos I managed to print from my phone before everything went so far south. And some momentums of them. My parent's wedding rings. My brother's metal watch. My sister's charm bracelet. Things I can show Mason, help keep them alive in his memory. I can't leave all that in the middle of some road in Atlanta Georgia."

"I don't think you understand how bad it is in there." Lori said her head tilted and her eyes apologetic. "You could die, is it worth possibly taking everyone from him?"

"I will come back. I promised." I said. "I know how bad it is in there. I was there. Your husband and I nearly died. We helped each other. We will both come back. What I need from you is help."

"I can watch Mason." She said closing her eyes. "I just don't think this is a good idea at all."

"I know." I patted her shoulder. "I know."

I was standing near the fire pit after getting my clothes from Carol and colleting a rather large knife from Dale. Daryl approached and set his shit down. We stood in silence waiting for Rick to finish changing. I kicked at a rock and looked over at Daryl.

"I did leave your brother a bottle of water and a granola bar in my jacket. It was all I had on me at the time."

He looked over at me and stared for a few moments. I reached up self-consciously and touched my nose to check for blood.

"Why?" He asked.

"Nobody deserves to be stuck like that. It was the only thing I could do to lessen the ordeal." He continued to look at me before approaching me and handing me a rag.

"Sorry 'bout your nose." I nodded and wiped at my face before Rick and Shane caught my attention.

"Could you throw me a bone here, man? Could you just tell me why? Why would you risk your life for a douche bag like Merle Dixon?" Shane asked Rick.

"Hey, choose your words more carefully." Daryl said from beside me waving his arrows around.

"No, I did." Shane said. "Douche bag's what I meant. Merle Dixon. The guy wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dying of thirst."

"What he would or wouldn't do doesn't interest me. I can't let a man die of thirst- me. Thirst and exposure. That water bottle won't last long in this heat. We left him like an animal caught in a trap. That's no way for anything to die, let alone a human being."

"So, you, Daryl, and Sydney that's your big plan?" Lori asked with Carl and Mason beside her. I frowned.

"The less people the better." I said. "Let's us move more stealthily." Out of the corner of my eye I see Rick turn. I followed suite to see who he was looking at.

"Oh, come on." Glenn groaned. Oh, not a bad idea on Rick's part.

"You know the way. You've been there before in and out, no problem. You said so yourself. It's not fair of me to ask- I know that- but I'd feel a lot better with you along. I know she would too." He pointed to Lori.

"That's just great. Now you're gonna risk four people, huh?"

"Five." T-Dog said.

Daryl scoffed. "My day just gets better and better, don't it?" I kicked him and shot him an irritated look.

"You see anybody else here stepping up to save your brother's cracker ass?" T-Dog asked. Shane threw his hands into his hair and began to walk away.

"Why you?" Daryl asked.

"You wouldn't even begin to understand." T-Dog responded. "You don't speak my language."

"That's five." Dale said.

"It's not just five. You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick. I mean come on, you saw that walker. It was here. It was in camp. They're moving out of the cities. They come back, we need every able body we've got. We need 'em here. We need 'em to protect camp."

"It seems to me what you really need most here are more guns." Rick said.

"Right, the guns." Glenn said stepping forward.

"Wait. What guns?" Shane asked.

"Six shotguns, two high-powered rifles, over a dozen handguns. I cleaned out the cage back at the station before I left. I dropped the bag in Atlanta when Sydney and I got swarmed. It's just sitting there on the street, waiting to be picked up."

"Ammo?" Shane asked.

"700 rounds, assorted." Rick said.

"You went through hell to find us." Lori said. "You just got here and you're gonna turn around and leave?"

"Dad, I don't want you to go." Carl said. Mason beside him stood looking at me. I put my hand up a bit and lowered it. He sat back down reaching for the necklace I gave him.

"To hell with the guns. Shane is right. Merle Dixon? He's not worth one of your lives, even with the guns thrown in. Even with your bag Sydney. It's too dangerous." Lori said. Rick walked over to her and she stood up. "Tell me. Make me understand."

"I owe a debt to a man I met and his little boy." Lori looked back at Carl ready to fight Rick. I hadn't heard about this myself, but it did make sense it being Rick and all. "Lori, if they hadn't taken me in, I'd have died. It's because of them that I made it back to you at all. They said they'd follow me to Atlanta. They'll walk into the same trap I did if I don't warn him."

"What's stopping you?" She asked. She no longer looked like she wanted to fight him. She just didn't want to lose her husband a second time.

"The walkie-talkie, the one in the bag I dropped. He's got the other one. Our plan was to connect when they got closer."

"These are our walkies?" Shane asked from beside the Jeep.

"Yeah."

"So use the C.B. what's wrong with that?" Andrea asked.

"The C.B.'s fine. It's the walkies that suck to crap. Date back to the '70s, don't match any other bandwidth not even the scanners in our cars."

"I need that bag." Rick said. Rick bent down in front of Carl. "Okay?" Carl nodded. "All right." Rick said.

I went up to Lori and wrapped an arm around her back. "I will make sure he comes back to you Lori." I said.

"Make sure you come back to your brother too." She said motioning for Carl to follow her. Carl took Mason's hand and they walked away. Mason turned to look at me and I waved to him.

I turned to Daryl. "Your brother was an asshole. I really hope you are better than him because I don't deal well with pricks." I walked pass him and climbed in the back of the cube van.

Glenn got in the driver seat and I sat facing the back of the van between the two seats once again. Daryl climbed in the back next and T-Dog and Rick went to speak to Dale.

"You think this is a good idea?" Glenn asked.

"No, but we need those guns. Rick needs his walkie. Daryl needs his brother, for some reason." Daryl shot me a look.

"What do you need?" Glenn asked.

"My bag has family memories in it. I need that. For me and for Mason. What about you?"

"I don't know." He said shaking his head.

"Well, I guess that just makes you a really nice guy." I said patting his leg.

Not too much longer Daryl, who had been pacing the length of the van, walked up and stepped on the horn.

"Come on. Let's go!" He yelled.

"Hey Rick," I heard Shane come up. "Got any rounds in that Python?"

"No."

"Last time we were on the gun range, I'm sure I wound up with a few loose rounds of yours." Shane began digging in his bag.

"You and that bag- like the bottom of an old lady's purse." Rick said.

"I hate that you're doing this, man. I think that it's foolish and reckless. But if you're gonna go, you're taking bullets."

"I'm not sure I'd want to fire a shot in the city, not after what happened last time."

"Correction," I called. "we will not be shooting in the city. I don't have a death wish."

Shane shook his head. "That's up to you." He came up with bullets in his hand. "Well…five people, five rounds. What are the odds, huh? Well, let's just hope that- let's just hope five is your lucky number, okay?" Shivers ran down my back and goose bumps rose on my arms.

"Fuck that." I said. Glenn nodded next to me looking through the windshield.

"Thank you." Rick said.

"All right." Shane answered.

Rick climbed into the van and put the rounds in the python. Glenn started the engine and Daryl closed the back of the van. The ride was silent. T-Dog and Daryl sat opposite each other in the back of the van leaning against the walls. Rick spent most of the time looking out the window and Glenn focused on the road. I reached up to take hold of my necklace, a Christmas gift from my grandmother, but remember that I had given it to Mason. I hoped he was alright. Glenn pulled up on what I could only assume were train tracks based on the jolting of the truck.

"He'd better be okay. It's my only word on the matter." Daryl said.

"I told you the geeks can't get at him. The only thing that's gonna get through that door is us." T-Dog said.

Glenn stopped the truck and turned to us. "We walk from here."

We all climbed out of the truck and began a light jog down the tracks. As we traveled we were silent. Mostly because we didn't want to attract attention. Glenn brought us to a hole previously cut into the fence. I'm guessing this is how they got in and out before. We climbed through the hole.

"Merle first or the bags?" Rick asked.

"Merle!" Daryl snapped. "We ain't even having this conversation."

"We are." Rick responded. "You know the geography. It's your call." Rick said to Glenn.

"Merle's closest. The guns would mean doubling back. Merle first."

I ran on the far right next to Daryl as we followed Glenn's lead. This was a bit less scary so far then I thought it would be. There were fewer walkers in the area. I suppose that meant Dale was right. They were leaving the cities. When we approached the store, Rick took lead and walked in the back to the front door. He motioned for us to stop and had Daryl move forward with his crossbow to shoot a walker. Daryl moved stealthily. I couldn't hear his footsteps and every muscle in his back and arms was tensed waiting to fire. He was a lethal predator.

"Damn. You are one ugly skank." He said raising his crossbow and the female walker finally caught wind of him and started forward. Daryl shot her right in the forehead.

We all moved forward once the threat was gone, but I kept the knife Dale gave me in my right hand. Daryl stepped up and removed the arrow form the walker's face. We made it over to the stairs and Rick had us pause again. He looked up and listened carefully for a few moments before motioning us forward and we all jogged up the stairs. The further up we went the more I feared the chain had broken and we would find a dead mostly eaten body attached by a bloody wrist. Once we got to the top we found the chain intact. I let out a sigh of relief and T-Dog cut the padlock on the chain. Daryl didn't waste time kicking the door open. He ran through the door yelling his brother's name. We came to the other side of the walking path

and my stomach dropped as I stepped down and stood next to Daryl. Merle's bloody hand was laying on the roof.

"No! No!" Daryl's anguished yell filled my ears. He began walking back and forth like a caged animal. "No!" He looked at the guys and I turned to touch his arm. "No!" He jerked back and began pacing again. "No! No!" I wanted to block out the pain I could hear in his voice. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to do anything that would make him feel better, because what he was feeling. Being left alone without family, it was the worst feeling I ever lived through.

Sorry again for how long this took. I really hope you enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you think.


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